Daughters
by Misha
Summary: AU. You always loved your daughters, no one could deny that. Same verse as Forbidden History


Daughters  
By Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own anything to do with "Veronica Mars", I really wish I did, but I don't. It belongs to Rob Thomas and the UPN. I'm not making any money off of this, so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- Another short one-shot. Well, sort of. This is actually in the same universe as "Forbidden History", but you don't have to read one to read the other. This is a total AU and it centres around Jake (I might get around to writing Duncan and Celeste eventually. Maybe.) It's second person, present tense because that's my favourite medium for Veronica Mars fic. It's short and angsty and kind of odd, but I like it. That's all for now, enjoy!

Pairings- Minor Jake/Celeste, Jake/Lianne.

Summery- You always loved your daughters, no one could deny that.

Rating- PG-13

Spoilers- First season, but only the flashback stuff because this is strictly AU, except for Lilly's death.

* * *

You loved Lilly, no one could deny that. She was your daughter and you loved her deeply.

Who wouldn't love Lilly? Well, maybe Celeste, but that was complicated and you do believe, that deep down, Celeste did love her.

Still, though you loved Lilly, you never loved her as much as she needed to be loved. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't even really yours. It was simple fact.

Lilly could never be the daughter you wanted her to be, because somebody else already held the title. Your other daughter, the one you couldn't claim, yet loved as much as any father could ever love a daughter.

You don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that Veronica was Lilly's best friend, that you got to watch her grow up--even if you didn't get to really participate in her upbringing. She was constantly at your house, constantly around and because of that, you got to know her.

Lilly wasn't the easiest person to like, though she was impossible not to love, while Veronica was both likeable and loveable. You adored her all her life. 

Sometimes you think your reactions to your two daughters comes down to one thing: you loved and still love Lianne, you never loved Celeste.

So, while Lilly was the daughter born in wedlock, Veronica was the daughter born in love. You were never that great a father to Lily, even though you always longed to be a wonderful father to Veronica.

You think that if you could have claimed her, you would have been the best dad she could have asked for. Except Keith Mars was that.

You know that and you know that she loves him in a way she'll never love you. Veronica accepts that biologically you're her father, but you'll never take Keith's place in her life, even if he took yours first.

Sometimes, you think you hate Keith Mars. Because he got to be Lianne's husband, because he got to raise your daughter. You know it was your own fault, you let Lianne go in the first place and then selfishly claimed her even though you had no right.

You let your child be raised by another man, because you were a coward. You were too weak to resist Lianne and too weak to divorce Celeste, so you were stuck in a trap of your own making.

Married to one woman, while all the time loving the other. Raising one daughter, but all the time longing for the other.

You were so grateful for whichever divine deity intervened and made your two daughters best friends. Because, that way you got to be a part of Veronica's life, even if you couldn't play the part of her father.

Of course, you cursed the same deity that allowed your son and daughter to fall in love. You also cursed your own cowardice for allowing it to happen.

You could have stopped it at any time, you or Lianne, but neither of you wanted to rock the boat. Stopping it would have meant telling the the truth and neither of you were ever to good at that.

No, in the end, it was Celeste that had to do that, to step in and avert disaster. You hated the look in Duncan's eyes later that night, as you held him after a seizure.

You knew that your son would never forgive you for taking her from him. For making her his sister.

That's okay, when you finally told Veronica the truth, in the days following Lilly's death, you realized that she'd never forgive you either. For taking away her illusion and making her your daughter.

You claimed her when Lianne left. She was yours, your flesh and blood, the only daughter you had left. So you ignored what Celeste wanted, what people would think, and you claimed her. You had a blood test done and you took your daughter, though it was the last thing she wanted.

You think you would have done it regardless, but Keith's death made it a moot point. She was yours and she had no one left, of course you'd claim her.

You didn't kill Keith. You thought about it, you'll admit that, but you didn't. If you were going to, you would have done it years before when you still could have claimed your daughter and had her love you. You knew it was selfish, destroying her last illusion, but you've always been a selfish man. After all, it was why Veronica existed in the first place, because you always wanted it all.

So, she came to live with you, but she was never happy in your home, never accepted you as her father. No, that spot always belonged to Keith Mars.

You like to think that Veronica cared about you, in some way, but sometimes you aren't sure. All you can remember is that bitter, broken look in her eyes when she realized that you were telling the truth. That you really were her father.

You think of the way she and Duncan avoided ever really looking at each other. You know that they both suffered because of your selfishness, that they developed feelings that they should never ever have had.

You don't know what happened between them, how many lines they crossed and you don't want to. You know it makes you selfish and weak, but you can't face that knowledge--of how much your choice might have fucked up your son and daughter.

Veronica left your home as soon as she could, she married that deputy of hers. You've often questioned her motives, though never out loud. Did she marry Leo D'Amato to get away from your home? To escape her brother and all the tension that lay between them? Or was he a substitute for the Sheriff father she had lost? Maybe, it was all of the above. You don't know. 

She visits, occasionally, makes an effort and for that your grateful. Part of you had been afraid she'd just leave and never come back, and you're sure she's thought about it. But she's a better person than that and you know the credit goes to Keith Mars. Veronica won't turn her back on her family, even if she doesn't really think of you and yours like that, because it goes against what she was taught.

She was raised well, by a good man, you know that. You also know that you wouldn't have done half as good a job, after all look at how badly you screwed up with Lilly.

No, the truth is, that the best thing you ever did for Veronica was let another man claim her. After all, you love your daughters, but your the first to admit that you're not a good father. No matter how much you want to be.

But you do love your girls, no one can deny that, not even them.

- The End


End file.
